Hidden Within
by RubyHair
Summary: Answers KrazyKat2009 challange Bless the Broken Road from KS Archive. FemKirk Jennifer Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise, is broken from her past. That past is going to start catching up with her in chapter 3. This is where the real story begins... Rating changed to M for disturbing imagery & violence beginning in chapter 4.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer - I don't own Star Trek, I'm not making any money off of this**

**Special thanks to my Beta T'Arrah**

Chapter 1 - Alive

The cave in which she had taken refuge was freezing. It reminded her a lot of the cave on Delta Vega where she met up with Ambassador Spock, except there were no crab-like monster-things trying to eat her. That was a day she was unlikely ever to forget, it was engraved in her memory forever: the day Vulcan died. She shivered and it wasn't from the cold.

Their orders were to perform a detailed surface scan of the planet Sigma 5 and determine if it was viable for mining. An earlier orbital survey from the Farragut showed a wealth of minerals including dilithium, platinum, gold and pergium. The only way to do the survey was to get down on the surface with tricorders because the electromagnetic fields around the planet were rather unstable.

Spock was right that she shouldn't have come down here. But of course, stubborn, mule head that she happens to be, she had to ignore his protests. Jennifer Tamala Kirk knew she was reckless, but she didn't think her interest in geology was going to get her killed! How could she have been so stupid as to get separated from the rest of the away team? All she did was start looking at the boulder formation, paying attention to the readings on her tricorder and she noticed a few flakes of snow. However, seconds later when she looked up it wasn't just a few flakes it was a god damn blizzard. Barely able to see her hand in front of her face as she made her way towards where the rocks were hoping to find something like this cave. It was dumb luck she found it using feel alone because she couldn't see a thing. Damn storm seemed to come on in an instant.

"Mr. Perry, what do you mean 'it just happened'?" Mr. Spock was in the captains chair and Lt. Perry was at the science station.

"I mean exactly what I said Mr. Spock. Everything was normal, then there was a magnetic anomaly right over where the away team is. It simply formed there. It's not big over the area it covers but it is intense. It's what we'd call a blizzard back home." Perry responds.

"Continue monitoring. Inform me immediately if there is any change. Lt. Uhura can you raise the away team?" Spock turns to the communications station.

"Negative Sir, I am trying each person individually. Especially Captain Kirk." Uhura replies

Spock turns to the twin stations in the center "Mr. Sulu, put us in geosynchronous orbit of the site." Sulu nods.

The turbo lift doors open and doctor McCoy steps onto the bridge, his scowl unusually intense. "What the hell happened?"

Spock turns to him, eyebrow raised, "There is currently a magnetic anomaly causing a storm with heavy snow and wind at the site where the away team is located."

"Christ, a blizzard." mutters McCoy

"That is what I said doctor."

"Just what we need, a wise ass Vulcan."

"Singing in the rain, hich" Jen is doing a little dance step and with the hich she gives a little kick. She continues singing the song like Alex from A Clockwork Orange. While she's doing it she thinks about how sick it is but that's one movie that kind of sticks in your head. Of Kubricks films she liked the early ones the best, especially Dr. Strangelove. She has to wonder if the storm will break before she runs out of energy to keep herself from freezing to death.

Next Jen decides to sing songs from Wizard of Oz. There was a remake in 2242 Jen really loved. She sang the songs from that one. Not the 20th century version, although she'd seen it. The way they were able to make it in the 23rd century, using different species was truly amazing.

Normally she would never sing. If anyone ever asked she would say no. But she can hear that she is in tune with the song, at least considering where she started it. Jen did take some piano lessons when she was young, and then again as a teenager. So she generally had a good ear.

Dancing came naturally to Jennifer. As did anything mildly athletic. So she danced as she sang to keep herself warm. Not too much, don't want to sweat but these thermal shirts are meant to wick it away from the body.

Too bad dancing lead to so many fights. Jen was an attractive woman. Tall, athletic build, long legs, blond hair and striking blue eyes. But she didn't go dancing to get males to hang fawn on her. She went dancing because it felt good to move. Why guys just couldn't keep their hands to themselves she couldn't imagine. She could sense what they wanted and it made her skin crawl. No man was allowed to touch her like that. Not after Frank and Tarsus. That topic pissed her off enough that she needed to really do some moving. It was time to take off the parka and do some kickboxing. There was just about enough room for a decent workout.

After cooling down she donned the parka again drinking some more of her water, noticing there wasn't much left. The only food she had were those stupid cardboard like protein bar. It would take more water than she had left just to eat it. She let out a laugh. Since when had the military ever made an attempt to make rations edible.

"God, it's been hours" she walks back towards the entrance. It's blocked. Must be one hell of a storm. Well good to know the entrance is blocked, now she has to be concerned with the air in the space. Just great. Time to sit down. She's kept warm by moving around. But you use a lot of oxygen that way. That oversized parka would come in handy now. Jen moved into an alcove and put the lamp right outside. It didn't give off much heat, but it was something. Next she put her hood up over head, pulled her arms inside and as she sat down brought the parka under her seat. All she had to do was stay awake.

"Acting Captains log. It has been 15 hours 26 minutes since the electromagnetic storm stranded Captain Kirk, Ensign McNamara, Lt. Griffon, Chief Giotto…"

"Mizter Spock!" interrupts an exuberant Chekhov.

"Yes Ensign?"

"Ze storm eez clearing. Eet eez almost gone sir."

"Mr. Scott can you lock onto any of the away team?" Spock is walking towards the turbo lift as he speaks.

"Nothin Mr. Spock" replies the engineer.

"Doctor McCoy, meet me with a medical team in the transporter room. Security team 2 to the transporter room. Keep in mind there was just heavy snowfall on the surface." Everyone on the bridge watches as Spock disappears into the lift. All their hearts go with him in his efforts to find the away team, but they are especially worried about their captain.

They beam down onto an open spot and are surprised to find that it is mostly very shallow snow. Spock is immediately buried in his tricorder readings. "Life sign readings from the direction of those boulders." He points in the proper direction. They go in the direction of the strongest signal and quickly find a large cave with everyone from the away team but Captain Kirk.

Giotto explains "the captain had walked a couple of feet away from the rest of the team. I was watching around, noticed a few snow flakes, as I turned to call the captain it was a blizzard. My voice was stolen from my throat by the wind. It came out of nowhere. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. Luckily everyone else was nearby and we had just found this cave, so we all headed inside."

The away team members are beamed back to the ship so the search for the captain can continue unhindered by their life signs. "One life sign detected, weak. This direction." Spock again has his nose buried in the tricorder and began walking along the wall of boulders. Around a corner he comes to what appears to be a big drift blown up against the rocks. "Behind here. We must dig."

The security team broke out their military issue portable shovels and began to dig, Spock & McCoy right beside them. After 52.3 minutes digging Spock can begin to smell the human on the other side of the barrier. He digs harder and quickly breaks through. After enlarging the hold enough so he can fit through he slides his thin frame inside. "Continue digging and enlarge this opening. We are going to need to remove the captain as soon as possible. Doctor, your medical tricorder please. I will scan the captain and bring it back."

Although there is very little light Spock can tell that ahead is the dying light of an emergency issue lamp. He follows it to find the captain sleeping. The medical scan shows her heartbeat and respiration has slowed and her core body temperature is dangerously low. She is hypothermic. They need to get her back to the ship.

As he heads back towards the opening of the cave McCoy meets him. "Damn hobgoblin, where have ya been? Let me see those scans." He grabs the medical tricorder from Spock. If he could've seen better he would have notices Spocks right eyebrow was up.

"Doctor I simply walked back and scanned the captain."

"Yeah, well we've gotta get her outta here NOW! She's dangerously hypothermic."

McCoy is obviously anxious but Spock cannot resist a comment about getting overemotional.

"Indeed. Doctor getting all emotional is not helping the captain. Let us do what we need to." With that he turns towards the back of the cave and the location of Captain Kirk.

Christine Chapel had everything ready for the captain when they brought her in. McCoy might be CMO, but Christine was the one behind the scenes who made sure everything clicked smoothly into place. Nurses always have had the most thankless job. She made sure that Jennifer had _her _bed ready in _her _private suite in sickbay. For this particular visit the captain needed her bed to be heated properly and a supply of blankets which could be easily heated. If McCoy ever noticed that these things were done perfectly all the time he never said anything. Such was the life of Christine Chapel. The sole highlight of her life was whenever Mr. Spock found a reason to visit their abode. He was so handsome sometimes she had a hard time catching her breath around him.

As soon as they arrived McCoy started yelling orders. "Spock, get your hobgoglin ass up to the bridge, do your job and run the ship. That way you can leave us alone so we can do our work on and save the captain!… Chapel, deMot, now!" Each sentence got progressively louder until all Spock could here was the ringing in his ears.

McCoy assisted by Chapel and deMot stripped Kirk to her underpants and put a muscle shirt over her head once it was determined that she had no frostbite on any part of her torso. Her hands had been inside her coat and protected by her body heat so they were ok. It was her feet that really worried McCoy. He took one boot while Chapel took the other and they cut them off. Her toes were white but not black. Nothing that couldn't be fixed without a tissue regenerator. The luck that followed Jennifer Kirk hasn't run out. McCoy breathes a sigh of relief.

"Well ladies, let's get her in a warm bed and monitor her." For that moment McCoy is simply happy that his friend and captain looks like she is going to live.

Brightness assaulted her eyes when she opened them, or tried to open them. They were very stuck together like she had been sleeping for a long time. She tried to raise her hand to rub them and found it caught.

"'Bout time you decided to join us missy" drawled the familiar voice of her best friend and doctor. She felt a damp cloth being wiped across her eyes. "Try to open them now darlin' let me see those baby blues."

Jen opened her right eye a crack, the lights were low enough that they didn't hurt so she opened the left one as well. "Mmmft…" she tried to lick her lips but her mouth felt pasted shut and dry like it was full of dust. McCoy held up a cup with a straw to her lips. She drank a bit, wet her lips and managed "How long?" in a very hoarse whisper.

"Three days since we lost contact with you and the away team." He holds up a hand to forestall the question he can see in her eyes. "They're all fine. They were in a cave about 10 meters from yours."

Jen lets out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding and relaxed.

Bones looks her in the eye, "You are one very lucky women. No damage I couldn't fix. You'll need to stay for another day while the skin on your feet continues to regenerate." He sighs and fixes her with a classic McCoy glare "you took years off my life with that latest stunt. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with you Kirk! You're some kind of magnet for things that want to hurt or kill you. I don't know why we ever let you off this ship!"

Jen smiles and takes her friends hand. She gives it a squeeze. "Bones, I love you. You're the best, you know that don't you? I couldn't do this without a friend like you."

Bones pulls back his hand and snorts. "Darlin', you need a whole medical team at your beck and call 24 hours a day 7 days a week and you know it. If your not getting hurt from something or shot at by unfriendlies you wind up coming into contact with something you're allergic to and going into anaphylactic shock."

"You know damn well that isn't what I meant Bones. You're my best friend, my confidant. You know more about me than anyone else. You're the one who puked on my shoes on that shuttle ride from Riverside, the rest is history." At that they both started to laugh until Jen started to cough, a nasty deep cough that had Bones reaching for his tricorder.

"Damn women, looks like your stay here just got a little longer than we thought. You're going to have to stay here until those lungs clear up. I don't like the sound of that."

"Doesn't feel so nice either" she grouches back as McCoy quickly presses a hypo in her neck. "Ow", she slaps the spot "give a girl some warning will ya?"

McCoy gives her a wicked grin "Never if I can get away with it. You are such an infant when it comes to getting hypos." With that he gives her another shot which she sees coming this time and grimaces. "Exactly what I mean darlin, you are such a baby."

As if to prove his point she sticks her tongue out at him. "Go scratch your balls Bonesy" she feels the familiar lethargy of a sedative. "You fucking creep. I jus woke up and you….." Her sentence trails off as she falls asleep.

"I did indeed. You need sleep. When you wake up you'll feel better. But now you need to sleep." He gently pats her head and makes sure she is covered before leaving the room and dimming the lights.

**Please Review Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2  Mudd's Women

**Standard Disclaimer: Don't own Star Trek. Not making any money.**

Wow, I didn't abandon this story! I didn't expect to, but I didn't expect it to be so long between chapters either. Hopefully it won't be so long before the next one.

I hope you like it! Please review!

Chapter 2 - Mudd's Women

Spock sat at his desk and reviewed the summary of his report on the mission to Sigma 5. With the exception of the captain getting stuck on the planet during the sudden storm, causing a stay in sickbay, there had been no further incidents. They had found significant deposits of many metals and fuels which will be very beneficial to the Federation, specifically the more rare deposits of dilithium, palladium and pergium. There were also significant quantities of gemstones. He signed off on the report and sent it.

It was 0648. Spock shut down his workstation and headed to sickbay to check on the captain.

Jennifer woke slowly. She remembered Bones hitting her in the neck with the hypo of sedative. Waking up after a sedative was ridiculously difficult for her; she just wanted to go back to sleep. However, she would not.

There was work to be done; a call due to the Admiralty. Just the thought of having any kind of conversation with Nogura or Komack made her want to bury her head in that pillow and not raise it again, especially after being injured again. Ugh. She blinked and got a vision of a blue shirt. Stretching she rubbed her eyes and opened them fully and noticed Spock watching her.

"Hi Spock." Jen said sleepily. "How's the ship?"

Spock nodded. "Captain. Everything on the ship is optimal. Hopefully, the doctor will release you in a timely manner so we can proceed with the scheduled 1200 hour communication with the Admiralty." Spock looked at her realizing how aesthetically pleasing she was with her hair mussed from sleep, blue eyes slitted.

"'Morning, morning glory." McCoy grumbled as he walked into the room and ran his tricorder over her.

"Why Bones, that would've sounded cheerful if it hadn't come out sounding like a complaint." Jen stated, rolling onto her back. "So, what's the verdict Doc?"

"I'll let ya know when I'm done Missy. Now, take a deep breath, all the way down into your belly." With that he poked her near her navel.

She complied: there was no pain, no need to cough. Excellent. Her immediate goal was to get out of his clutches and back to running her ship. He may be her best friend, but he was also her CMO and he could make her stay in this God forsaken place.

"Alright, your lungs are clear. I'm letting you do 4 hours on your shift today. If, and let that it be very clear Missy Captain, that that 'if' is dependent on my giving you medical clearance, tomorrow you can go back to full duty." McCoy paused and looked at Spock who had been observing the examination from the sidelines. "You got that hobgoblin?"

"Indeed doctor. I will ensure that the Captain does not overdo herself on alpha shift today." Spock lifted an eyebrow at McCoy who continued to stare at him. "Is there something else doctor?"

"Yes there is Mr. Spock. You have been skipping meals. You need to eat along with every other member of this crew. I'm not going to have you starving yourself on my watch. Ya hear me?"

One thing Spock found himself indulging in more and more was intentionally misunderstanding McCoy. He found the doctors responses to be most amusing. "Doctor McCoy, starving myself would be most illogical. I consume adequate nutrition."

McCoy huffed. "That's not what I meant and you know it damn it. You need to eat regular meals, especially because you eat vegan."

"Doctor, for a human that might be the case, but I am a Vulcan-Human hybrid and not in the same classification. I assure you that my nutritional intake has been adequate."

"God damned stubborn hobgoblin." McCoy grumbled and looked at Jennifer who was having a difficult time keeping herself from laughing. "And what are you smirking at Missy?" He asked giving her the McCoy look of doom.

"You really are extra grouchy this morning Bones." Jen turned serious. "What's happening Bones? There's something, I can tell."

"I'll come by later and check on you Missy Captain. You best not be too tired or he's," He pointed to Spock, "In serious trouble. I'll be around close to 1500." McCoy turned and left.

Spock looked at his Captain with his left eyebrow raised asking a silent question. Her answer was a simple shrug. "Well Mr. Spock, if you will excuse me for a moment, I'll get decent, so I can go to my cabin and take a shower."

"Get decent Captain?" Spock inquired.

Jen gave him a look out of the corner of her eye. "Right Spock. You just keep acting like you don't understand. But you do not fool me!" She gave him a smile and a little laugh. "Now will you please vacate the premises so I can get some real clothes on. I am not walking through the ship in hospital pajamas."

Twenty minutes later a very refreshed Jennifer Kirk stepped onto the bridge for alpha shift. She smiled and winked at Nyota on her way to the command chair.

"Report Mr. Spock."

"We remain in orbit of Sigma 5 until we receive new orders from Starfleet. All departments are reporting ready." Spock reported.

"How long before our scheduled comm with the big boys Spock?" Jen knew the approximation. But she always found it utterly amusing to hear Spock come up with the time to the exact second. Vulcans must have some kind of chip in their heads aligned with the galactic center! Time can get all kinds of screwy out here in the black. Only the fields generated by their warp & impulse engines kept them from doing serious time traveling.

"Three hours 54 minutes and 37 seconds Captain." Spock intoned.

"Thank you Mr. Spock. Good to know."

She walked up behind Sulu and Chekov, placing her right hand on Sulu's left shoulder and her left on Chekov's right and very sarcastically announced. "Ah, another quiet morning on the Enterprise!"

Everyone but Spock chuckled. Spock cocked his head to one side analyzing the captains last statement and the other humans illogical responses.

"Captain, it is a quiet morning. I do not understand why that would be humorous."

"Ah, Mr. Spock." Jen said turning toward him smiling. "That is because _they_..." She points to the other humans around the bridge, "Understood the unspoken part of the statement." When there was nothing crazy happening she loved to tease Spock whenever she had a chance. Her entire command staff caught on so it made it even more fun, especially when she got Bones in on the action, although he wasn't there at the moment.

_'Countdown to request for clarification: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...'_ Jen thought laughing to herself.

"Captain, please clarify on the unspoken portion of the statement." Spock requested.

_'Ah, right on cue... He is so cute, can I have a couple more just like him?' _Jen mused.

"You really know the answer to this if you think about it Spock. You've been here as long as the rest of us have." She looked at him giving him a few seconds to process and maybe come up with the answer. Shaking her head Jen continued. "All hell could break loose at any second." The entire bridge crew nodded.

As if that comment was a prompt, Uhura spoke up. "Captain, I'm picking up a distress signal from a system we're passing".

Jen simply looked pointedly at Spock, raising an eyebrow of her own.

"Point taken Captain." He replied.

"What do we have Lieutenant?" Jen walked back to her chair looking at Uhura.

Nyota listened to her ear piece for a couple of seconds before she replied. "Independent transport Captain. From what I can pick up their engines failed and they are drifting into an asteroid belt."

"Well let's go see if we can help 'em out. Ensign Chekov set course; Lieutenant Sulu, get us there as fast as we can."

"Aye Sir." They replied, fingers running across the controls.

As it happened they were relatively close to the distress call they arrived very quickly.

"Uhura, hail them." Jen ordered, standing.

"No response Captain. Automated distress signal only." Uhura replied.

Jennifer turned to the science station. "Mr. Spock what can you tell me about the ship."

"Small unregistered cargo vessel, no engine power, minimal life support, life signs fluctuating; one life sign is solid, three seem to be in some sort of flux." Spock reported. "Their ship is in danger from asteroid fragments, they will drift into the main field within 1.659 minutes."

"Scotty, can you get a lock and beam them over?"

"Not yet Captain." Replied the Scotsman.

"Sulu, can we grab them with the tractor beam?"

"Negative Captain, too much iron interference from the asteroid field." Sulu answered.

"Spock, can we project our shields around them?"

"It will be a severe strain Captain, but we can." Answered Spock.

"Do it then!"

As the Enterprise extended its shields to surround the transport ship lights started to flash red on several boards.

"Scotty, can you lock on yet?"

"I 'ave one of 'em Cap'ain. Canna get a lock on t'others." He replied.

Lights flashed everywhere and power dropped.

"Captain, we just lost one dilithium crystal." Sulu announced.

"Just great. Spock, you're with me." Jen got up and started walking towards the lift, knowing Spock would follow.

Over her shoulder she said. "Sulu, you have the conn."

As soon as Jen entered the lift she called her chief engineer. "Scotty as soon as I get there we'll bring over whatever you have."

"Aye Captain." Replied the Scotsman.

"Kirk to sickbay."

"McCoy here Captain."

"Meet us in the transporter room Bones. I don't know what we're bringing in."

"Oh how lovely." McCoy growled. "On my way."

"Uhura, get whoever is currently in charge for security; it should be Cupcake." Nyota nodded.

Giotto answered the page. "Chief Giotto."

"Hey Cupcake!" Jen replied. She was in no way going to let him live down the nickname she gave him that night in the bar in Iowa. Idiot thought she was trying to pick up Nyota and started a fight with her over it. Short hair and almost non-existent breasts does have it's disadvantages around ultra macho men when attempting to make a friend of her own sex. "Assemble a team and have it in the transporter room in one minute, sharp. I don't know what we're bringing in, only that it's humanoid."

"Aye Sir." Replied Giotto. He had actually grown to like Jen during their days at the academy and they threw the moniker cupcake back and forth between them until after Nero where it settled permanently. He found he kind of liked it.

As soon as they are all there Jennifer took charge.

"Scotty..." Jen was interrupted by another flash of the lights.

"Another dilithium crystal Captain." Cried the Scotsman. If there was anyone on the ship who was as protective of her as her Captain, it was her Chief Engineer.

"Shit. Bring over whatever you can lock onto. Security team, stand at ready." _'Deep, calming breath and'_ Jen thought, then out loud. "Energize."

As they watched what appeared to be a human man materialized on the pad. His dress was outlandish. Kind of like an old Earth gypsy, or maybe a pirate. Hat, pinned and cocked to the side, earring in the ear the hat showed; handlebar mustache; peach _'peach?'_ puffy sleeved tunic over a black undershirt; 4" wide leather belt with a big square buckle and the most normal thing about his outfit: blue jeans.

He looked around nonchalantly, like there was all the time in the world.

"Don't mean to be short on gratitude fellas but where do I find meself?" The man asked.

"The USS Enterprise." McCoy answered snidely.

The man sauntered down off the pad and stood next to Kirk, looking down at her, putting a casual arm around her shoulders. "Tis a real beauty, she is, a real beauty."

"Why thank you. And who may you be?" Jennifer replied dryly, copying his speech, peeling his arm from around her shoulders like it was diseased.

"Oh, me name is Walsh ma'am, Captain Leo Walsh. And who may you be deary?" He tried giving her what he must have thought was some kind of coy smile and blinked several times.

"That would be Captain Kirk to you and we need to get your crew off of your ship, **NOW**. So, how many do you have left?" Jen was getting indignant.

"Three Captain. But they're not exactly crew. Beam them over and you'll see." Walsh suggested.

"Energize." Kirk said.

Three females appeared out of the swirling molecules on the transporter pads. Each one beautiful, standing seductively and dressed provocatively. The male humans in the room were instantly under their spell.

Spock and Jennifer were looking from person to person when their eyes met. They saw sanity in each others eyes that they didn't see in any of the other humans in the room, except Walsh.

"T'ese aren't me crew, Captain. T'ere me cargo." Walsh said.

Jen looked at McCoy who had gone, gaga. She couldn't think of another way to describe it. She had to try to get him out of it. "Bones... _Bones_... _**Bones!**_" She finally yelled.

McCoy very slowly drug his gaze from the women in front of him and looked at her with a very stupid grin on his face. "Yes darlin'?" His head slowly moved back around to stare at the women again.

Spock raised a eyebrow. "Fascinating."

Jen shook her head and looked at Spock. "Like hell. Mr. Spock, may I speak to you for a moment in the hall." Spock nodded.

"The rest of you, stay in here. We will be right back." _'Like they're really going anywhere.'_ She thought to herself.

Once they walk out into the hall Jen first went to the nearest comm terminal and contacted the bridge. "Sulu, let go of that other ship immediately and get us away from the asteroids."

She then turned to Spock. "We have a serious problem and it looks like there won't be too many of us who will be able to handle it.

"Who do we have on security who isn't humanoid enough to be effected by them? I want them under guard, but not humans. Look, even I felt whatever it is with them. So no humans, or humanoid empaths." Jennifer watched him while he thought thinking how handsome he was when he concentrated.

"There are Ensigns L'Jornn & Pn'Ton, a life bonded pair of Flisth TT'Etcha; Lt. Scarn and Ensign Talnyt are Andorian; Ensigns Tonon, Virt and Lt. Boj are Benzite. The remainder of the security forces are humans." Spock replied watching an expression he has learned to associate with unhappiness cross her face.

"Damn-it Spock, that's not enough people. We need more people to have good shifts watching them. Ideally, I want 5 more people. That way we could have 3 people watching them at all times for each of the 3 shifts and give us 3 extra people for contingencies. It could be done with just 2 more, but there won't be any extra people for contingencies."

Jen looked thoughtful. "Best I can think of is to put a female with each team. Look through their files. Sexual orientation is listed. We need females listed as strictly straight.

"For right now get the Flisth TT'Etcha on them." She smiled evilly. "If nothing else, they are extremely intimidating."

"Indeed they are Captain." Spock agreed.

"You work on the rest of the security issues and we'll see what we can sort out and we'll all meet in Conf. Rm 2 in 20 minutes."

She started to turn back to the transporter room when she thought to mention something to Spock.

"Hey Spock."

Spock stopped and turned raising a questioning eyebrow at his captain.

"Next time neither of us should say anything about it being quiet the bridge!" Jennifer laughed.

Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded before returning to his task. His mind replayed the sound of her laughter.

When Jen got back into the transporter room she turned to the women. "Girls, whatever you have going on, shut it off. It's worse than having three Orion females in here full pheromones going."

Leo turned to Jen. "Captain, t'ere's not'in' goin' on here. T'ese ladies are just natural beauties."

"That is a load of bullshit Captain, there is nothing natural about this." She waved to McCoy, Scotty and Giotto. "These happen to be highly trained men. And they just don't go googoo eyed and slack jawed when they see a natural beauty." Jen was on a roll and very angry because she knew that Captain Leo Walsh was not being honest with her.

She walked up to McCoy and got into his line of sight. He didn't even see her. So she resorted to yelling. "Bones!" While slapping her hands in front of his face at the same time to see if she could snap him out of it.

McCoy shook his head and looked at Jennifer for the first time like she had thrown cold water on his face. He immediately noticed she was in full Captain mode, something not to be trifled with so he jumped to attention.

Jen noticed that the hand clap not only got McCoy's attention, but Scotty's and Giotto's as well. "Finally." She sighed. Pointing to each she directed them. "Bones get down to sickbay. Giotto, coordinate security measures with Spock. Scotty get to my engines. Go."

They stood there stunned still. "_**Now.**_" She growled through closed teeth.

The three men jumped into motion when they heard her tone realizing they were one step from insubordination.

Jen watched them leave. She really wanted to hit her head on the desk, or the bulkhead or anything. But settled, instead, for rubbing her eyes. Last thing she wanted to deal with was a bunch of grown men acting worse than sixteen year olds; they were nothing but walking erections! Fuck! _Fuck!_

She hit the comm on the wall. "Kirk to bridge."

"Spock here Captain." His voice was cool and collected.

Jen took a deep breath. "Good to hear a calm voice Spock." She could picture him raising his eyebrow. "Conference room 2 ready?"

"Indeed Captain, Ensigns L'Jornn & Pn'Ton should be outside the transporter room by the time we are finished this conversation."

"Alright everybody, follow me." She walked out the door and as promised the Flisth TT'Etcha were there.

"Ensigns, would you please escort these four to Conference Room 2. DO NOT allow them to leave or have any conversations with anyone excepting yourselves, Mr. Spock, myself or if I can get her, Healer T'Los. Am I understood?"

They made the distinctive chirping that Jen knew meant 'affirmative sir', before the word came out of their Universal Translators (UT).

Flisth TT'Etcha were evolved from the equivalent of pterosaurs. They were great on security teams. Not only were they over seven feet tall, could move deceptively fast, had two hands on each wing, could fly, both their beaks, feet were deadly weapons but they were also extremely intimidating to most species. It was too bad there were so few of the in Starfleet. She was lucky these two were a bound couple and they requested the Enterprise, or she would never have been able to get two.

When the quartet saw the security team waiting for them they were duly cowed and went quietly.

Jen quickly made her way to sickbay to pick-up their Vulcan healer T'Los and have her bring a tricorder set for exotic drugs. While there she commed engineering. "Scotty, how're we doing?"

"Not good Captain. We're down to one dillitium crystal and it's showing signs of stress. I'd advise we stay at Impulse or we'll be operating on thrusters." He was not happy with the condition of _his_ Silver Lady.

"Scotty, how long could we do warp 1 before that crystal goes?" She had to know.

"Ach, not long. _Maybe_ a couple of hours, maximum." Scotty cried.

"Thanks Scotty. I'm gonna put Chekov on it to find something in that travel distance." She tried to console him, a little. There was no way to sugar coat the fact that they needed those crystals.

Jen then commed the bridge and gave Chekov his assignment before heading to the conference room herself.

Upon entrance to Conference Room 2 Jen found a 'scene' of controlled chaos. Ensign Pn'Ton had Leo Walsh pinned to a wall with one wing tip. The women with the long dark hair was crumpled on the floor, while the one with the shoulder length blond hair was backed against the wall opposite Leo looking at Ensign L'Tornn with barely concealed terror.

It was the one with the short bleached blond hair that really caught her eye. She was fighting with Healer T'Los. Not only was she fighting she was holding her own; against a Vulcan!

Just when Jennifer was about to move to the comm to attempt to locate her second he came into the room and immediately jumped into the action, providing a quick nerve pinch to the blond's neck rendering her unconscious.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jen noticed T'Los picking something up from the floor.

Jen made her way over to Ensign Pn'Ton and nodded so he released his hold on Walsh. Without allowing him even a second to recover Jen grabbed him by the collar of his peach shirt, shoved him harder against the wall then delivered a flat handed bitch slap across his face. "What the fuck is going on here Walsh? There is no way that woman should have been able to even keep up with T'Los, let alone require Spock to step in."

Leo Walsh a.k.a. Harcort Fenton Mudd (Harry) had no idea how much he was in over his head. This was the woman who, at 13, had taken on a mass murderer/rapist who thought to keep her as a pet, because of her pretty blond hair and blue eyes, and won; the same woman who had taken on Nero and sent him straight to hell. Jennifer Tamala Kirk was not a women to play games with and that was all Harry Mudd knew how to do with women.

Walsh sputtered. "Me don' know."

Jen looked him in the eye, her blue eyes, cold as ice. "That is such fucking bullshit I can smell it." She shook him. "We are going to find out the answers. And you will be sorry for your lies Walsh." She pushed him hard before letting go and wiped her hands on one another, then on her pants, like she could get all of his 'ick' off of her hands that way.

"Ensign Pn'Ton take the door. Ensign L'Tornn watch the unconscious ones. Spock, get one of the Andorian's and Benzite's from security so we can get those two to the brig. Everybody else take a seat." Jen ordered. 

She looked at Healer T'Los to make sure she was alright. T'Los nodded.

Jen then turned to her security officer which had the best view of the confrontation. "Sitrep L'Tornn?"

It began a series of chitters, clicks and chirps before the UT caught up to what it was saying. "Healer T'Los entered the room and her tricorder began sounding. The three females and Mr. Walsh all got very perturbed stating that no medical scans were required. Healer T'Los looked at her readings and asked Mr. Walsh if the Venus Drug was used, at which time the female with the two females who have been rendered unconscious attacked her attempting to take the tricorder. During the fighting it fell to the floor. Mr. Walsh moved to intervene. Pn'Ton took charge of that situation. I made certain the other female would not interfere knowing that a Vulcan should be able to overtake to human females."

Jennifer was fuming. The Venus drug was banned in all civilized systems because of the complications associated with taking it. Whatever the drug gave you more of while it was in your system, it took from you when it left. It was a dirty deceit that eventually killed the people who took it and cheated the ones who thought they were in love with those who took the drug.

The woman with the long blond hair spoke. "Captain Kirk, please, if I may; I had no intention of fighting."

Jen nodded for her to continue. "Thank you Captain. If you will allow me, I will tell you everything."

Walsh got very upset and yelled. "No, Eve!"

At that point Jennifer was done listening to Leo Walsh. "Shut up if you know what's good for you Walsh." She was angry at his machinations. "You _**will**_ let her speak! Computer, begin recording."

"Recording." The computer intoned in its electronic voice.

"Eve, start by stating your name for the record then just continue." The captain began.

"I'm Eva Marie Martin and I was born on a farming colony L5 with no hope of finding any men other than those on the colony. Most of them had an IQ under 80. I wanted something better, so I signed up to be a wife to a man elsewhere. At least it would be a lot more unlikely that he would be a relative than it would have been on the farming colony. It's basically the same with Ruth and Magda.

"Harry here offered us the way to become wives in other places." Eve finished.

"Who the hell is Harry?" Jen demanded.

Leo started to blubber. "Tain't no 'Arry 'ere." While at the same time Eve pointed to him.

Spock took over. He could see that his Captain was very red in the face and he didn't want her to have a stroke. To get Walsh's attention he said his name with more than his usual force. "_Mr. Walsh_, state your name for the record."

"Me name is Leo Walsh."

"Incorrect." The computer intoned. It made Spock's voice seem positively musical.

They were interrupted by the sound of the door. Additional security had arrived in the persons of Andorian Ensign Talnyt and Benzite Lt. Boj, who were let in by Ensign Pn'Ton. They stayed at the door awaiting instructions.

"Oh, what does that hunk o' metal and plastic know." Leo grumped.

"State your correct name for the record." Spock said.

"Yer really not gonna take the word of that over flesh and blood, are ye?" He was getting desperate in his lies.

"State your correct name for the record." Spock stated once more.

Jen couldn't help admire Spock for his Vulcan control of his emotions because she felt like she was ready to explode.

"Harry Mudd." The man who introduced himself as Leo Walsh stated defeated.

"Incorrect." The computer once again announced.

"Harcort Fenton Mudd." Harry stated.

"Correct." The computer finally agreed with him.

Jen couldn't help but think this man had to be hiding a criminal record with the way he was lying. So she spoke up. "Computer, list any criminal record for _Harcort Fenton Mudd_."

The computer brought up his rap sheet. Spock's left eyebrow crawled up into his bangs and he met Jen's eyes as she stood and said. "Harry Mudd, you are under arrest for use of the dangerous and illegal substance the Venus drug. Your possessions are now seized and you will be held in the brig until we reach the next starbase."

Everything seemed to be working out just in time because the women Eve introduced as Ruth and Magda were waking up right then as Jen was about to order them to the brig.

"Pn'Ton and L'Jornn please escort Harry Mudd and the women known as Ruth and Magda to the brig and await replacements at the end of your shifts." Jen stated.

The women started to object.

"You attacked one of my medical officers. As far as I'm concerned you're dangerous and you _will_ go to the brig willingly or you will go under sedation. What is your choice?" Jen was all business.

"Willingly." Ruth said.

Madga nodded her agreement.

"Get them out of my sight!" Jen pointed to the door, blue eyes blazing.

"Boj, Talnyt, please escort Eve to one of the guest suites. Keep her there, under guard. No one is allowed to see her until I change the order except myself, Spock or someone from the medical staff. Understood?" Jen had relaxed a bit since the others were gone.

"Aye sir." The security officers replied.

"Wait." Eve had a question. "Captain, what is to happen to me?"

Jennifer smiled grimly at Eve. "I'm not sure yet Eve. I'll come talk to you in a bit and we'll figure it out. I won't send you back to that farming colony, if that's what you're worried about." There was real sympathy in Jen's voice. She had been through a lot in her life and didn't want to see anyone suffer, especially a women or a child.

When Eve was gone Jen put her head down on the table. She was tired. She was sure she hadn't been on duty for four hours yet.

"Captain, are you alright?" It was Spock.

Jen lifted her head and looked at him. "Just a little tired Spock." She smiled tiredly. "How long until the call?"

"One hour twenty four minutes twelve seconds." Was his reply.

"Alright, I'm going to lay down in my quarters for a while. Come get me in time." She requested.

Spock nodded. "I will walk you to your quarters."

"Thank you Spock. That would be nice." Jen said, as they walked toward the lift.


	3. Chapter 3 New Mission

Greetings Readers! My apologies for taking so long with this but up until now this story only had a very general direction. Now, it has a solid one. This won't be real long, maybe 8-10 chapters I am guessing, maybe a few less, maybe a few more. It will not touch on the events of Into Darkness. (Maybe if I ever feel like doing a sequel to this story I will. But Empathy will be finished first.)

Hopefully there are some new readers who have come from Empathy to see what I've written here. If so give me a shout out in the reviews and let me know what you think!

Standard Disclaimer – Sadly, I don't make any $ from this, nor from anything Star Trek related. Boo hoo hoo. LOL! Although I would do a bit part in the next movie for free just to meet the cast!

I would like to thank my not official beta friend (because she doesn't write ff) who I will name JerseyGirl for proof reading this for me. All errors are mine.

Chapter 3 – New Mission

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Even with the call to the Admiralty looming on the horizon Jen went about her morning, business as usual. However, the comm they were scheduled to receive that morning was the first time that it was scheduled to be live with five of them. Previous live comms had generally been only with Pike or Nogura.

She began to run gel moistened hands through her short locks and was momentarily assailed by extremely unpleasant memories reminding her of why she would keep her hair short for the rest of her life. Memories of the evening when eight year old Jennifer found herself being drug by her stepfather, Frank out of her bedroom by her hair, down the stairs, though the house, outside, through the yard to the barn and thrown into the manure pile because her brother left home. She had chopped off her ponytail before school the next morning and stopped at the barber in town on the way home. Frank pitched a fit, calling her a boy. Jen told him that she should call him Jim then and ran up to her room and pushed her table in front of the door. The next day Frank had given her boy chores including washing the car which she proceeded to drive off the cliff. A little voice in her mind told her to live, so she jumped out at the last minute.

She was snapped out of her disturbing ruminations when the door chimed. After one last check in the mirror to make sure she didn't look like she had just gotten out of the shower, she moved to go face the music for getting herself injured on another away mission or whatever other perceived wrong she had committed.

Expecting to simply be able to walk into the hallway she walked full tilt into Spock who was waiting to enter. Jen was somewhat stunned, feeling like she ran into a brick wall. Spock grabbed her by her upper arms, missing the uniform sleeve and catching skin. There was a strong electric jolt that ran between them.

They both wanted to step forward, closer, but instead they stepped back. As soon as she was stable on her feet he let her go. Cerulean blue eyes met chocolate brown ones for a couple of long seconds before Spock and Jen spoke simultaneously.

"Excuse me Captain./Whoa Spock, no give!"

Jen started to laugh.

"What do you find amusing Captain?" Spock asked. He really wanted to know. When he empathically understood that Jennifer enjoyed educating him in the nuances of humor, he found through hours of meditation that, he in turn, enjoyed receiving the education. _"It will take more hours of meditation to understand the sensation I received when I touched her. Curious,"_ he thought.

"The whole thing: My running through the door, right into the you doing an excellent imitation of a bulkhead, then us talking at the same time. Very amusing Spock, very Vaudeville," Jen exclaimed, eyes sparkling "very Vaudeville."

Spock's eyebrows drew together momentarily, before he blinked and his normal non-expression returned. Jen had become rather adept at reading her First in the relatively short time they had been a team. However he surprised her. When he replied she realized that he had not been confused as she had thought, he had been accessing his databanks.

"Vaudeville: theatrical entertainment, either individual or in a group generally involving acts by comedians, singers, dancers, magicians and/or acrobats," he said, as if he were a twentieth century Webster's Dictionary. "I do not think my statement met that definition Captain."

His recitation of the definition caused Jen to laugh harder as they started to walk toward the conference room. She clapped Spock on the shoulder as she settled and explained, "I know, but that definition didn't include the description of physical humor Spock, and trust me when I tell you that the whole incident at my door could have been considered a slapstick comedy act. Except the usual punch line would have been that I would have landed on my ass, instead of you catching me before I fell."

"I see," was Spock's response. Jen was pretty sure that in that case his reply really meant that though he thought he might understand her words, he really did not "see". He was, in fact, more confused by the illogical behavior it denoted than before, however, he was absolutely not going to admit that in front of the mere Human's.

They arrived at the Captain's ready room at 0948 and had Uhura set the appropriate security for the call.

When Spock heard the Captain ask Uhura to set the security for the call to the highest possible. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she shrugged¸ before sighing and saying, "I don't understand either Spock. Pike sent me a message instructing me to set the security code at the highest after I hit the bed last night. I have no clue as to what they are going to say, except maybe to chew me a new one for getting hurt again. But five of them? Shit, I hope this isn't going to be too bad."

Spock was pondering the phrase about the Captain expecting to get "chewed a new one" when the signal came through that the call was ready.

Jen put on her best smile and informed Lieutenant Uhura to put it through.

When the screen lit up Jen had a very hard time keeping her expression as her blood ran cold. The comm was not what she had been thinking; it had to be a serious situation with Archer and Chen both at the table. She had expected Barnett, Norgura, Komack, Pike and Lu or Johnson.

Instead the center seat was taken by non-other than the ancient, yet indomitable Jonathan Archer. To his right was his ex-first officer T'Pol. On her right was another, much younger Vulcan, a civilian that Jen did not recognize; however, there was something about the way Spock had stiffened told her that he did. Seated directly to the left of Archer was Admiral Xiang Chen, the head of Starfleet Intelligence. To the left of Chen was Barnett and finally there was Pike.

Jen thought about Chen for a moment: when you met him he acted like a real sweet man, but what most people were unaware of was that he had an eidetic memory and could recite every conversation word for word. After she and Spock had been in the Jellyfish and the Narada, Intelligence had been all over them for information about any future technology. Chen had been particularly suspicious of them after reviewing their debriefs which left several questions unanswered: why did Nero want to show Spock the destruction of Vulcan and who was that mysterious Vulcan from the future that Jen on Delta Vega claiming to be another version of Spock from the same reality as Nero and where did he go?

Jen shook her head as Archer got right to the point with his first words, "Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, we may have a serious problem along the Romulan Neutral Zone."

Something in Jen's brain stopped as goose bumps and a chill passed through her at the words 'Romulan Neutral Zone', at the vague recollection of a bad feeling from last night's dream. A small tremor ran through her as she processed that. Jen knew Spock would notice and ask her about it later.

"To Admiral T'Pol's right is Soval, who was the head of a group of negotiators sent by the Vulcan High Council to some fringe colonies along the Romulan Neutral Zone to attempt to garner trading rights. Soval, if you would please inform them of what you found." Archer concluded opening the little conference.

Soval stood and pressed a button, lighting a large screen behind the four who remained seated and swiveled in their chairs to observe. He appeared to be very tall and thin, although it was difficult to tell. When he spoke his voice was a nasally tenor. "Captain, from this point forward the transmission will be changing encryptions every thirty seconds. Ensure that your communications people keep up or you will have glitches in the information."

Jen bristled at the perceived insult to Uhura who would have no problem keeping up with the encryption changes and couldn't keep her big mouth shut. She raised an eyebrow in a perfect imitation of her first, and with sarcasm dripping from her tongue like venom she said, "Ha, ha, ha, was that a joke from a Vulcan?" Under the table her hands had, unconsciously balled into fists.

Soval raised an eyebrow of his own and replied, "I can assure you there was no humor in my statement Captain." Turning, he pressed another button on a device in his hand and the screen projected a space map with a line and the title 'Romulan Neutral Zone' at the top; several systems on the Federation side of the border were highlighted.

Jen's only reply was a very slight sharp exhale through her nose, that was only noticed by Spock. _"Right," _she thought, flexing her hands until they relaxed._ "I can assure You that You have as much humor as a dry sponge has water in the Sahara. Sanctimonious prick, insulting my crew!"_ She listened as he described the first planet, Arnat V, a mining colony. Arnat V supplied many types of mineral salts throughout the quadrant. The only life forms on the planet were various bacteria and amoeba like creatures that were living in the mineral rich oceans. There was very little good land on Arnat V, it consisted of many, small, swampy islands. However, it was enough to allow for a small colony of Bajoran's who had escaped before the Cardassian's attacked them, who had been mining the salts that collected around the islands and selling them for over a century.

"_Dear Lord, I am so glad that Spock is not that monotone!"_ Jen thought while she mentally slapped herself to ensure that she stayed awake listening to his monotonous voice.

"When the VSS Solkar arrived we found that the island that had supported the colony appeared to have been attacked," Soval intoned as he pushed the button on his remote and a picture of the remains of the colony came up on the screen. All of the buildings, boats and equipment had indeed been blasted and rendered useless. There was one thing missing from typical pictures of an attack however, bodies. Jen had her suspicions and she did not like them.

Soval highlighted the next system along the line. "Our captain was wary in his approach to the third planet in system JX3725. At the outer edges of the system we began picking up transmissions in Romulan. The exact transcripts of those transmissions are in the packet of data which is being transmitted as we speak. The third planet in system JX3725 is rich in dilithium, latnum and other useful minerals. It has been mined heavily by an independent group known as "The Conglomerate," consisting of members of several Federation and non-Federation races, including several humans and a Vulcan.

"It became apparent that the Romulan's had taken over the operation by force and had occupied the planet. The current population were made into slaves." There was finally a hint of anger in his voice when he spoke the next part and Jen could see it in Soval's body, especially the slight narrowing of his eyes, "there was one transmission that spoke clearly of their Vulcan prisoner and the vulgar sexual acts they did to him as they slowly and very painfully executed him. The entire time they laughed at any kind of reaction he had to the pain or humiliation they inflicted on him."

Soval briefly looked down, shoulders, oh so slightly turned downward. It may have only been a slight movement and one that in Jen's experience, most Human's missed, but that slight movement spoke volumes of grief; one more broken bond. The empathy in her reached across space and felt herself compelled to say, "tushah nash-veh k'dular." (I grieve with thee.)

Soval's eyes snapped to hers where he met a gentle smile. However it was Spock who spoke, "nam-tor hayal Soval. Khart-lan Kirk gal-tor Vulcan por-sen opi' Va'Pak." (be calm Soval. Captain Kirk [can] see Vulcan emotion since The Immeasurable Loss.)

At first Soval had felt his anger rose instantly. However, as Spock spoke he realized how illogical it was to be angry at her for recognizing the subtleties of Vulcan emotions lowered his eyes, relaxed his posture and said, "indeed."

Soval straightened and turned back to his presentation. He hit a button and the picture on the screen pushed back so that the area of the Neutral Zone in question was once again shown. There was a fourth system highlighted. The Petronis system. There was only one planet in the Petronis system worth anything. It was a highly prosperous farming colony run by the Petronis family as it had been for two hundred years. They had employed hundreds of others in their operation.

Leo Petronis had been into everything he could and shortly after WWIII he had worked along with Zepharn Cochrane on his warp engine. He copied the plans so he could build his own warp engine and improved the design. Instead of using an old nuclear missile, Leo had found a scuttled space shuttle named Atlantis in Cheyenne Mountain. Three days after Cochrane had launched his ship and brought the Vulcan's to Earth, Leo Petronis had launched his warp ship along with his family. They had not all lived to their destination, but Leo built his family an empire.

Petronis II was a planet 1.5 Earth's in diameter but of the same mass and a very similar biota. It had two moons, both of which were now being mined.

As Soval began his speech about what occurred there Jen got chills down her spine. She glanced over at Spock because she felt him looking at her. He raised an eyebrow then looked back toward the screen. Soval continued to relay the information about their approach to the planet and all had gone according to plan until they hailed the colony.

When they did they received the following reply: A man with graying hair, piercing (color) eyes, a hawkish nose and a goatee greeted them. He stuck his nose up as high as possible as he said, "I am Anton Karidian and I am the new governor of this colony. We do not to business with species that the universe has decided to eliminate, such as you Vulcan's. You will get no assistance here." And he cut transmission.

As soon as Jen saw his face her eyes widened and she started breathing heavier. Under the table she was wringing her hands. "_Calm down, calm down_," she told herself.

Spock saw everything.

At that point Admiral Chen spoke up, "I suppose you can see why we need you now Captain Kirk?"

Jennifer forced herself to look the motherfucker in the eyes, forced the words out of her mouth, "sure I do. Because _I_ know who he really is… Kodos the Executioner." She could feel her fingernails making cuts in her palms as she had made her hands into fists without even realizing.

She stood up and gripped the edges of the conference room table as she growled, "I won't let the bastard get away, again." The again being a remark specifically going to Chen for letting him get away the first time.

Chen narrowed his eyes holding her eyes for a moment, testing her resolve. She narrowed her own eyes and stared right back at him. Finally, he nodded and said, "Captain Kirk, your orders are to report to Starbase 19. There you will drop off Mudd and the three women and a team of Starfleet Intelligence best infiltrators who will accompany you on your mission. Then you will proceed to the Petronis system to capture or kill Kodos and secure that colony once again for the use of all species."

"Understood Admiral," Jen replied.

This time it was Archer who spoke, "good luck Captain Kirk." And the screen went blank as they cut the transmission.

Jennifer just sat there in shock as she digested everything she just found out. Kodos was alive. He had been reported dead, they had told all the survivors that they had DNA proof that it had been his body they found in the crashed shuttle. So, how could that be him?

She was interrupted from her ruminations by a hot hand on her shoulder. She jumped because she had forgotten that she was not alone.

"Captain," Spock said, "are you alright?"

She sighed, stood up and straightened, then nodded and relied, "oh, um, hi Spock, yeah, I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow and said, "fine has variable definitions…"

She didn't let him finish his sentence. She looked him in the eyes and gave him an honest reply. "Spock, stop. You're right. Fine does have variable definitions. However, Human's frequently feel variable, so in those cases fine is the absolute honest answer. And right now I feel fine. Understood."

Spock nodded, thinking how that reply was going to take some processing to fully understand.

"Now, something else you need to understand about the reply 'fine'; it's neither good or bad, but it could be either," Jen told him knowing this would confuse him further and put him off the subject of her reactions during the conference call.

Spock thought about what she said for a moment. It was totally illogical. He shook his head and brought himself back to his original line of inquiry.

"May I make a personal query?" Spock asked.

Jen sighed realizing that her tactics hadn't worked. She dreaded the question he was going to ask. She stretched her lips into what she hoped was a semblance of a smile rather than a grimace, saying, "not right now Spock. Come see me in my quarters after alpha shift and we'll talk. In the mean time you have the con. Set course for Starbase 19. I need to take care of some details and see to the logistics."

Spock held her gaze for a few extra seconds before he nodded, did an about face and left. Jen followed him out but went to a different turbolift to head to her quarters. The first thing that she planned on doing was taking an hour for herself to get her head together.

When she reached her quarters the first thing she did was get out of her dress uniform and into a comfortable one with slacks. She thought those dresses were just way to short and made sure the quartermaster would supply uniforms with slacks to any female who wanted them. She set her alarm for forty five minutes, lit a candle and sat down to meditate, but the memories bubbled to the surface…

When Starfleet arrived on Tarsus IV they found Jennifer Kirk hanging from her wrists in the town square, naked, beaten, chunks of hair pulled out by the roots and furious. The doctors had wanted to treat her immediately for her wounds and malnutrition. But she wouldn't hear of it. She told that there were kids hidden in the hills and that they needed food, clean water and medical attention immediately! While they got the supplies together they got some clothes onto her then she led them to 'her' kids. There had been ten alive when she had left them to get food four days previously; before she got caught. When she got back she found that two more of the younger ones had died. At that point her anger at everything had overloaded and she went ballistic on the Starfleet officer that she had led to 'her' children for not arriving soon enough to save them.

On the return trip to Earth they found that she was called JT by the children and that they were all very protective of each other. However, none were more protective than JT. None of them knew some of the nasty things JT had to do to protect them, or find food for them. When she had left Earth she had been a rebellious twelve year old girl from an abusive, broken home and come home a granite hardened fourteen year old, young women with a chip on her shoulder the size of the moon. She was JT: protector of children and abused females of all species. Although once she had returned to Earth the JT moniker remained a thing for the record books and, a protective blanket in her mind.

Jennifer knew she needed two things to go on with her life: the ability to control her emotions and how to protect herself. All of the survivors of Tarsus were offered the services of a Vulcan mind healer and Jennifer had been one of the first to take up that offer; she no longer wanted to feel any emotions. T'Lara had taught her many things, including the fact that Vulcan's did, in fact, have emotions.

In order to accomplish her second goal she had taken Kung Fu and found she enjoyed both the physical and mental discipline. She had become such a good fighter that at the Academy Pike had gotten her a position teaching Advanced Hand to Hand Combat classes from her second semester. She smiled with her last memory; pinning Cupcake to the floor in that very class and seeing his surprised eyes, shaking her head to clear it for her meditation.

It surprised her when the first emotion to come up was not fear and not anger either, but rage; white hot rage. As the rage bubbled in front of her, like molten metal she heard a hysterical giggle. Turning she observed herself in the glow. She looked like she had when she was released from hospitalization with one exception; this version of her realized that Kodos remained alive and wanted nothing more than vengeance. Not just personal vengeance, no, her emotions were not that simple. Young Jennifer Kirk, JT, wanted revenge for everything that monster had done: every person he killed, every person he tortured, every child he molested. And she gleefully looked forward to personally delivering that monster to justice.

Jennifer took her rage and her gleeful desire to avenge the thousands that died at Kodos hands, and realizing that those emotions were there was able to put them to the side and look for what others were in the mess. She looked for her fear. It had been her initial reaction before the rage took over.

Before she found fear she found she felt a fierce desire to protect her crew, her current family, from the monster. She took her protectiveness and put it to the side and continued to look for other emotions.

When she found her fear she realized that it was the least of the destructive emotions she was feeling at the moment and it was the easiest one to set to the side.

However, beneath everything was something that nearly overwhelmed her for a moment: pain. Genuine pain and the pain associated with guilt. Underneath every emotion, every memory from Tarsus IV was pain. Her physical pain had been minor compared to the mental anguish she felt from Emily as she died from fever in Jen's arms, her sister moments behind her and there had been nothing she could have done to save them. That fever killed three more of the children. They even still had plenty of food then, but not the right medicine.

Others had died under her watch. Aunt Helen had told _her_ to keep them safe, not someone else. Underneath everything she knew that she was not responsible for the deaths of the eight more children that had died from wounds, illness and starvation. _She knew_; she understood, comprehended, however, that didn't change how she felt, deep down.

Jen felt much better as she reentered the bridge.

"Captain on bridge," announced Lt. Scarn, current security officer assigned to the bridge. His antenna turned her way as she began to walk by, as his eyes continued scanning his equipment.

She nodded to him, "thank you Lieutenant." She stopped causing him to look at her, "I wanted to extend a personal thank you for the work you did over the last few weeks with Mudd and his women." Jen put up a finger as the Andorian tried to open his mouth. She knew that he would tell her that, basically it was his job. She looked him in the eye, smiled, put her hand on his shoulder and continued, "and it's not quite over. I know that you will continue your exemplary work. Not just because you are an Andorian warrior, but because that is who you are." She continued eye contact raising an eyebrow, nodding, to allow that last bit to sink in before giving his shoulder a squeeze and continuing to 'The Chair'.

Earlier, when Spock had asked if he could ask her a personal query, Jennifer knew what the question was she just hadn't known how to answer it. She had been blindsided by the admirals and was an emotional jumble. However, her meditation gave her he clarity she needed for the conversation to come.

Beta shift personnel were filtering onto the bridge and as she caught the eye of her replacement she made her way over to the science station.

Spock was still bent over his console logging his latest readings when he noticed Jennifer step up onto his level. He looked up at her and she nodded and said "time to answer your query, meet me in my quarters in fifteen minutes." Spock's eyes followed her as she turned walked to the turbolift and disappeared inside; he had not liked the icy look she had in her eyes.

Jennifer headed to sickbay. There was one other person who needed to hear the details of the story she was going to share and she was only going to tell it once. McCoy never left at the end of his shift, he always stayed behind to catch up on paperwork so he was easily found.

The first thing she saw when she entered sickbay was her Chief Engineer, Montgomery Scott and his assistant, Keenser sitting on biobeds. Scotty looked furious, Keenser was grumbling in his native language and his coloration was darker than she had ever seen him. They each had bone knitters attached to their forearms, Scotty's left and Keenser's right.

"What happened to you guys?" she asked.

"Idiots." Keenser grumbled, shaking his head. It was the first word he had spoken in standard since she entered.

Scotty nodded in agreement, "aye Captain, we were movin' some equipment when the junior engineers dropped the piece down on us. We're lucky that's all that got hurt! Those two'll be doin' nothin' but scrubbin' coils for the next year or two!"

Her lips quirked in amusement, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Christine Chapel came over to check on the two as Jennifer turned toward McCoy's office. The door was closed so she knocked.

A very grumpy voice replied, "who is it?"

"It's me Bones, I need to talk to you," Jen responded.

"Git your butt in here woman," McCoy said as soon as he heard the plaintive tone in her voice.

McCoy was the only person on the ship who knew that she had been on Tarsus, although he didn't know all the details. Being her roommate at the Academy he wound up the victim of several of her more vicious nightmares when he tried to wake her. When she had first woken she gave away the source when she was fighting like a demon possessed and screaming at someone named Kodos. McCoy wasn't stupid and quickly put everything together pulling the basics of the story out of her.

He took one look at her and reached for his drawer where he kept a bottle of Saurian Brandy. However a quick shake of her head stopped him, "not yet Bones, this is extremely important; I need you to come to my quarters. Bring a sedative and be there in ten." She did an about face and walked out the door.

His mouth opened to ask a question but that quickly she was gone. McCoy snapped his mouth closed and stared at her retreating back. He didn't know what he needed her for, or the sedative, but he didn't like it, whatever it was. And he knew that, without a doubt, he needed a drink before he went to meet with her.

Jen retreated to her quarters. She had a couple of minutes before Bones and Spock arrived, so she took the time to change into sweats. She wanted to be in comfortable clothes if she got so agitated that Bones needed to use that sedative.

She dug out her stash of Klingon Blood Wine that had been a gift from Chancellor Gorkon when they signed the non-aggression treaty and poured herself a shot. In her book this stuff was more potent than Romulan Ale. Gorkon had told her that it contained more than alcohol, but that she didn't want to know, and he had laughed. It had made her shudder.

By the time the door buzzed Jen had taken several shots and felt a bit looser. "Come," she called.

Spock entered, hands behind his back. Taking in her appearance, he stopped after several steps allowing the door to close, cocked his head to the side, raised his eyebrow and said, "Captain?" The question was obvious in his voice.

Before she could answer the door buzzed again. Spock stepped aside as Jen said, "come in Bones."

McCoy walked in ranting, "damn it Jen, what the…" He stopped short when he noticed that they were not alone.

"Why don't you two sit down. We have to talk about our upcoming mission and the effect it will have on the ship's Captain; the potential of emotional compromise," Jennifer said.

They both sat, McCoy sat next to her on the sofa and Spock took the desk chair and placed it opposite her. McCoy looked confused.

"Bones, since you weren't in on the conference call this morning I'll fill you in on the next mission." She took a deep breath and released it before she finished, "the Federation has incontrovertible evidence that Kodos the Executioner is alive and our mission is to capture him dead or alive." As soon as she finished the sentence she threw back the shot of Blood Wine she had in front of her.

"Sweet Jesus girl!" McCoy said as he reached for one of the other shot glasses on the table and poured one, downing it immediately.

Jen looked at Spock who saw the doctors horrified reaction to the news and she could see that he was about to open his mouth so she answered him. "Spock," she said, getting his full attention. "I was there, yes."

Jennifer sighed deeply, looked at the floor, then at her friends, "I was one of the nine children that had been on the death lists to make it out alive. And because it is possible for this mission to emotionally compromise me you need to know exactly what happened and why it might compromise me so you can help me. Understood?"

They both nodded.

TBC

A/N: Please, please take a few seconds to let me know what you think in a review! I also take PM's.

Next chapter will be Jennifer's story.


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